The Cover Letter Bitch Test

By Stacie Maier • July 30, 2009 • Filed in: Job Hunting

I was working with a client a few days ago, and I think I found a way to ensure that your cover letter is hitting the right tone. I call it the bitch test.

Cover letters are one of, if not the, most important tool in your job hunt. First impressions last a lifetime, so they say, and when communicating with a potential employer, your cover letter is pretty much it. (Of course, if your email address is sluttybunny37@hotmail.com, THAT would be your first and last impression, but let`s assume we’ve already had that discussion.)

Cover letters have to strike a very delicate balance. You need to be able to promote yourself accurately without sounding to egotistical or boastful. You need to let some personality seep through, so that you don`t sound like an automaton, but not so much as to seem irritating or unprofessional. You need to try your hardest, but seem like you aren’t trying at all.

The biggest problem that I see in most cover letters is waffling. Stuff like: If given the chance, I know that I can make a positive impact to your organization, of course while still accepting the valuable guidance of your excellent supervisory staff, but only if that`s the attitude you are looking for, because I can be both an excellent leader as well as a team player.

Obviously, I jest. A little.

In a cover letter, every paragraph, sentence and word counts. Everything must be organized in a logical fashion to present the information you most want seen first. And every iota of the letter MUST convey powerful, relevant information. And be definitive. Be proud of what you`ve done and what you can offer.

Basically – if you can’t mentally add `bitch`after each and every sentence of your cover letter, you are wasting opportunities. I don’t know if this makes as much sense with out the proper inflection here. I`m not talking about that you-stole-my-boyfriend kind of bitch, I’m talking about the yeah-you’d-better-believe kind of bitch. Kind of hard to explain without the inflection, but I think you know what I mean. If not, feel free to call and I can recite what I mean over the phone.

There should be no I believe I could, I would like tos or Given the opportunities…there should be I wills, My goals are, and You’d damn well better believe’s.

For example:

With my many years of experience in the field, I feel that I can both bring some experiences from past experiences and also have the opportunity to learn many new things…umm…bitch?

No.

How about:

I have over 7 years of relevant experience and have proven time and time again that I can meet continuously increasing quota levels. I am a proven leader who has managed successful teams of up to 10 subordinates and have lead them to unprecedented success, such as achieving XYZ Corp`s highest ever Eastern Region quarter sales number. Bitch!

See…It’s when that exclamation mark doesn’t look out of place that you are likely on the right track.

It is also important when writing a cover letter to reiterate the most important facts from your resume, but not to dwell on them. Remember, your cover letter is just an appetizer, don’t spoil the meal for later. I like a rhythm that incorporates very broad strokes from the resume but then expands on that information with concrete examples that are not included in the resume.

And remember…The bitch part only happens in your head, don’t actually type that