I kinda think that is a win.

Via Failblog

Bigelow Aerospace Opening: Astronaut

Think about it, Astronaut.  Possibly the coolest job in (or more appropriately, out of) the world.  Most likely the number one job aspired to by children around the world, before their ambition, hopes and dreams are crushed by the school system.  (Expect for ballerina…I’ve never understood that one).

So, what’s wrong with this job description.  It’s completely boring.  It’s not compelling (come work with us ~ use all of your advanced Astronaut training to…liaise with the marketing department…?)  And there’s no sell.  No reason to get excited, no indication of how this job will give you the opportunity to expand your skills, get involved in different aspects of the business, or lead to a future career path.

But really, my biggest question is, why is this job posting up at all…are there really a bunch of unemployed astronauts sitting around trolling the Internet for work??  I’m going to strongly assume that is not the case.  And even if I were an unemployed astronaut, I would need to be communicated in a far, far more compelling manner before responding to this type pf recruitment message.

1. Forward

Lets admit it, if you work on a computer, chances are that you spend at least a part of your workday surfing the web.  Yes,  I admit that we all need out daily fix or People of Walmart, Texts From Last Night, or whatever your personal poison may be.  But turn some of your web wandering to work related fare.  This is going to have some other advantages, such as that you’re going to sound smarter and more engaged as you pick up some industry-related factoids along the way, nor will you get an evil eye should your boss happen to catch you.  But the main thing here is that every few days, you should try to send out an interesting, relevant, preferably entertaining article or blog post to your coworkers and managers.  Don’t spam them.  Don’t forward random jokes or personal stuff – just a few enlightening gems here and there  It will be appreciated, and bring you to the top of mind when someone is seeking a subject matter expert.

2. Bake

Or ask your girlfriend/boyfriend/mom or whatever too.  Or stop in the bakery on the way to the office every now and then.  I’m not kidding.  The way to a person’s heart is through their stomach.  Bring people yummy things to eat, and they will start to associate you with happy thought.  For extra brownie points, take someones dietary restrictions into account – look up some gluten free recipes for someone in the office with Celiacs, or figure out how to make something delicious but sugar free for your friendly office diabetic.  That little bit of consideration will go a LONG way to creating positive associations in that persona’s mind, and may also get you some good word of mouth.

3. Thank

By publicly thanking those who helped you out, you are not only helping them, but also by association helping yourself.  Most people in today’s society don;t take the time to thank others properly.  And unfortunately, some people actually see it as a weakness.  Believe me, it is not.  Thanking others will not only make you seem like a good person, it will also make others more likely to come to your rescue next time.  This will have a perpetual effect of making your life easier, as well as making you a more successful employee.

4. Socialize

Take part in as many social gatherings with your coworkers as you can.  Whether it’s drinks with a few people from accounting or a company-wide event, make your presence known.  Of course, if it’s a group of people who are just going out to bitch and moan, perhaps you don’t want to be associated with that.  Bt otherwise, remember that the company ethos is not just what happens in the office, it’s everything that happens surrounding the organization, and you want to weave yourself into that ethos as deeply as you can.

And watch the booze.

5. Participate

I know, I know…

It doesn’t have to be that bad.  If you can, find a committee or group within your office that you find interesting.  Don’t just join something for the sake of joining – join something that you will actually be interested in, and will therefore contribute positively too.  Doesn’t exist?  Well, maybe you should be a little keener and take the initiative to start it up yourself.  A company blog, a social committee, a green office initiative.  The possibilities are endless.  Not only will this make you look like a superstar at your current place of employment, but this is also future resume gold.

You’re not the leader type?  You wouldn’t feel comfortable leading this type of thing?  That’s OK too.  Try find someone within the company who has similar interests who would be interested in leading, and have them bring you along as second in command.  They will likely appreciate the suggestion.

6. Ask

Ask questions.  Not only will you look like less of a screw up if you ask for help, not only will you likely get your work done quicker and produce a better product, but you will also leave a positive impact on the people that you ask.  Remember to ask questions in a constructive manner.  Do some research up front.  Don’t ask ignorant questions – ask people what they feel is the best course of action between two alternatives, or to brush up an idea that’s already mostly there.  Also, it’s always a god idea to ask your coworkers in other departments about their jobs.  Ask what exactly their responsibilities are, what the new developments in their field are, if they’re working on anything interesting or innovative.  This will make you more knowledgeable about your organization as a whole as well as making you memorable to others.

7.  Admit

This is a simple one, but much harder than it sounds.  If you make a mistake, or something goes wrong – ADMIT IT.  I’ve seen countless instances of people trying to cover up mistakes or misdirect the blame.  When you don’t take the bull by the horns, not only are you opening the door for the problem to get ten times worse, you are also passing up an opportunity to make yourself look like a superstar.  When confronted with a problem, develop some possible solutions, and then take them to someone – your manager or a coworker.  By admitting the mistake, you show yourself as a team player, as a responsible employee, and by having some potential solutions on hand you show that you have problem solving skills.  And, as most people will not come straight out and admit it if something has gone wrong, you will also stand out as a brave, morally superior person  (hint: that’s what people look for in management!)

8. Mentor

Take some of those younguns under your wing.  Again, aside from generally looking like a rockstar, there are a few fringe benefits here.  First, by explaining things to the newbie, you will actually reinforce your own understanding and possibly develop some new ideas.  I always fond whenever I explain something that I end up going on some tangent and coming up with some new ideas.  Second, you are likely to end up with your own little stock of minions.  The people that you helped will be far more likely to help you out down the road.  And third, you are displaying some serious positive leadership abilities – this is both excellent promotion and future resume fodder.

9. Personalize

Bring a little of yourself into the office.  Be unique.  Bring some touches of your personal style to your desk, or the way you dress.  Don’t blend.  Maintain the required degree of professionalism, but let your own personal style shine through.

10. Karma

Kismet.  Chi  Whatever you may call it.  Whether or not you actually believe in it.  Invite some good karma into your workspace.  Every day – do one random good deed for someone in your office.  Make a habit of it.  Spread it around – don’t just focus on the higher ups.  Don’t tell anyone why you’re doing it.  Don’t ask for or expect thanks.  Just do it.  And one way or another, it will start coming back to you.

Do you have a phrase that just sets your teeth on edge?  I do – I absolutely HATE ‘moving forward’.  An old boss of mine would say it all the time.  Now, when recruiters are reading your resumes and cover letters, do you think perhaps they have some phrases that they hate too?  Maybe the ones that are vague, don’t impart any real information, are incredibly overused, or are just lame?  The answer is yes, they do.

These poor people are bombarded with piles of resumes and cover letters everyday that just parrot back the same overused phrases again and again.  Do you think that’s going to make you stand out?  Think again.

Are you a team player?  Really?  Because I was hoping to hire a crotchety little bastard who would constantly try to undermine and sabotage their coworkers.

Do you have excellent communication skills?  OK.  Fine.  You are communicating with me right now – so don’t say it, prove it!   (My favorite is that usually, this statement tends to be in a sentence that is grammatically incorrect.  I don’t know why – Murphy’s law? Must collect stats on this.

“I am currently seeking employment in the <insert desired industry here> field.”  Really? Is that why you just sent me an application for a job in that industry?  I NEVER would have guessed.  Thank you, captain obvious.

Be sure to go through all of your application documents, (or better yet, have some one else, with an objective eye) and look for these traps.  They are incredibly easy to fall in to.

Remember, you have 5 to 20 seconds to grab a recruiters attention – make sure that every single line, word and syllable is achieving something.

That poor, obviously overworked soul made me think of one of my very favorite Japanese words: Karōshi.

So, what is is Karōshi?  Literally translated from the Japanese, Karōshi means ‘death from overwork’.

Isn’t that a great word?  (yes, it’s a terrible phenomenon, but isn’t that a great word?)

I won’t reiterate the very fascinating Wikipedia article for you (although it is pretty fascinating and I would highly recommend you reading it), but the first case of Karōshi in Japan was reported in 1969 when a 29 year old died from a stroke on the job.  Twenty-nine years old!!!

There is an incredibly strong work ethic inherent in Japanese culture.  Once people literally started dropping dead from years upon years of constant unpaid overtime, some companies began limiting the amount of overtime allowed and implementing other measures to help improve the health of employees.

So what do you think the English word is going to be?  Because might be needing one soon, and ‘death from overwork’, while accurate, is not that catchy.

Don’t believe me?  According to a study by Take Back Your Time, an American not-for-profit agency dedicated to advocating for healthier workplace practices:

• Americans are taking fewer (and shorter) vacations.
• Last year, only 14% of American workers took two weeks or more for vacation.
• Men who don’t take regular vacations are 32% more likely to die of heart attacks, and 21% more likely to die early of all causes.  Women have 50% more risk of heart attack.

(Please note, I directly stole borrowed the above points verbatim from the fabulous Cali & Jodi, whom I shall discuss in further detail at a later date.)

(Man, am I ever bracket-happy tonight!  Sorry.)

I don’t know if the Canadian stats are equivalent, but I would imagine that we are not as bad off, because we do have mandated minimum vacation.  However – there seems to be quite the trend in banking out vacation, receiving vacation pay in lieu, or people just flat out working through their vacation.

At the very least, most of us who are Crackberried will check in…just here and there, right…maybe answer an email here and there…or just make that one little call?

People, what’s wrong with you??

Giving our brains a little time to completely escape the stresses of work and completely rest, even if only for a few weeks a year, is VITAL to our psychological as well as physical health.

We all (meaning employers and employees) need to understand that not taking adequate vacation time is actually significantly decreasing productivity.  We all want to appear dedicated to our jobs.  We all want to make sure that nothing goes wrong while we’re out of the office.  We all get suck doing a little bit of overtime sometimes.  BUT, if it could literally mean loosing years of your life, is it really worth it?

Of the many, many things wrong with the current workplace system – this is one of the most endemic, and is going to be one of the hardest to change.  But it really, really should.

The arguments presented against the current compensation system are numerous and compelling.  However, in the face of a huge economic system that is not known for  flexibility, risk-taking or general common sense, it is not likely that many of the recommended changes will take place on any sort of large scale anytime soon.  Even despite the case studies presented of employers who do incorporate some of these methods, like Google.

That doesn’t mean that all you employers out there shouldn’t be looking into modifying your reward systems, nor that all you worker bees shouldn’t be advocating for their incorporation.  It’s the always the early adopters that thrive when a major paradigm shift is on the horizon, and I truly believe that one is.

I wonder – going to the ‘carrot and stick’ rewards system and the fact that rewards can actually decrease efficiency in non-rote tasks – do you think that relates to why, when you’re playing Guitar Hero, that you ALWAYS miss a note right after you get one of those floaty word bubbles telling you how much you rock?

I think the responsible, career professional thing to say here would be to suck it up from day one, maintain your regular routine and schedule activities for yourself.

Screw that.  As far as I’m concerned, you get at least a week to lie on the couch, wake up at noon and spend the day eating chips on the couch watching terrible daytime television.  Call it a mini creative sabbatical.

So – that’s out of the way.  It’s been a week or two, there are no job offers in the works yet, and you’re getting a little restless.  What to do now?

Let’s ask Lucy:

There’s a great Lucille Ball quote:

Cover letters are one of, if not the, most important tool in your job hunt. First impressions last a lifetime, so they say, and when communicating with a potential employer, your cover letter is pretty much it. (Of course, if your email address is sluttybunny37@hotmail.com, THAT would be your first and last impression, but let`s assume we’ve already had that discussion.)

Cover letters have to strike a very delicate balance.  You need to be able to promote yourself accurately without sounding to egotistical or boastful.  You need to let some personality seep through, so that you don`t sound like an automaton, but not so much as to seem irritating or unprofessional.  You need to try your hardest, but seem like you aren’t trying at all.

The biggest problem that I see in most cover letters is waffling.  Stuff like: If given the chance, I know that I can make a positive impact to your organization, of course while still accepting the valuable guidance of your excellent supervisory staff, but only if that`s the attitude you are looking for, because I can be both an excellent leader as well as a team player.

Obviously, I jest.  A little.

In a cover letter, every paragraph, sentence and word counts.  Everything must be organized in a logical fashion to present the information you most want seen first.  And every iota of the letter MUST convey powerful, relevant information.  And be definitive.  Be proud of what you`ve done and what you can offer.

Basically – if you can’t mentally add `bitch`after each and every sentence of your cover letter, you are wasting opportunities.  I don’t know if this makes as much sense with out the proper inflection here.  I`m not talking about that you-stole-my-boyfriend kind of bitch, I’m talking about the yeah-you’d-better-believe kind of bitch.  Kind of hard to explain without the inflection, but I think you know what I mean.  If not, feel free to call and I can recite what I mean over the phone.

There should be no I believe I could, I would like tos or Given the opportunities…there should be I wills, My goals are, and You’d damn well better believe’s.

For example:

With my many years of experience in the field, I feel that I can both bring some experiences from past experiences and also have the opportunity to learn many new things…umm…bitch?

No.

How about:

I have over 7 years of relevant experience and have proven time and time again that I can meet continuously increasing quota levels.  I am a proven leader who has managed successful teams of up to 10 subordinates and have lead them to unprecedented success, such as achieving XYZ Corp`s highest ever Eastern Region quarter sales number.  Bitch!

See…It’s when that exclamation mark doesn’t look out of place that you are likely on the right track.

It is also important when writing a cover letter to reiterate the most important facts from your resume, but not to dwell on them.  Remember, your cover letter is just an appetizer, don’t spoil the meal for later.  I like a rhythm that incorporates very broad strokes from the resume but then expands on that information with concrete examples that are not included in the resume.

And remember…The bitch part only happens in your head, don’t actually type that

Now, looking back…I am thinking about how much research I did about entering the workforce…and it wasn‘t much.  And yes, of course, that isn‘t so vital, because hey, you’re only going to be working for what, the next 40 years ?!?!

No, wait…that math seems a little wonky to me…We should be spending a lot more time researching our chosen career paths before blindly leaping into the great unknown depths of the working world.  Yet many people don’t.  Why is that?  Maybe because we feel that coming out of post-secondary education that we already know things that we really don’t.  Maybe because we’re burnt out and frazzled when we graduate, and are compelled to blindly rush into whatever the first career opportunity to cross our path is.  Or maybe it’s just that people were never told that this is a very, very important step in your career development.

I was counseling a client the other day who had a good idea of the type of job he was looking for, but didn’t know what the industry term for it was.  In fact, he had been passing over job postings with that title for years.  Simple things like the vocabulary related to different types of positions in different industries can throw an invisible barrier in your career path.

There are also numerous side benefits to doing your homework thoroughly before jumping into the job search.

This does not only apply to rookie job hunters – experienced career changers can fall into the trap of becoming overly confident.  If you’re undertaking a major career change, it may be even more important for you to do a little digging before you commit to the leap.

So, how does one do their pre-job search research?  Well…

The interwebs

There is a wealth of information available online.  Start with some of those boring government job profile type things, but don’t dwell on them.  Many are too genaric, too detail rich (they may list every possible responsibility under the sun and not actually tell you what you will be spending your day doing), or out of dat.There are other, much richer information sources out there.

Read the personal blog of someone in the industry or position that you are interested in.  Follow their Twitter.  And don’t rely on just one source, try to look at a cross section.  Look for the mention of daily tasks, and think about if that is something that you would be happy doing every day.  Look for common complaints, and take that into account too.

Look for industry specific publications or general news articles that are relevant.  This will give you an insight into an industry of profession, and also make you sound more generally well informed about the current state of affairs.

Ask

Yes, I know it seems obvious, yet this is one thing that very few people properly leverage in their job hunt efforts.  It can be nerve wracking to approach a stranger and ask them to tell you about their jobs.  But let me tell you a secret – most people would be flattered.  Identify someone who could be a resource, and just ask.  Offer to take them out for a coffee.  Have a chat – get the low down, straight from the source.  If you don’t feel up to cold calling (although it is a valuable tool that you should GET comfortable with if you aren’t), see if there is someone in your network who can set up an introduction.

Books

I have personally found that biographies are an excellent tool for getting some perspective on a potential industry.  They are also often a chance to learn from the best and the brightest.  For example, if you are interested in getting into professional wrestling, then you should read A Lion’s Tale: Around the World in Spandex.  I am actually dead serious about that.  Biographies can often give you a view into the true pros and cons of a given path before you embark upon it.  Again, they also give you more conversation fodder, which makes you sound more current, which gives you a better chance of actually landing your dream job when you do get it.

Whore yourself out

Yes, I know, working for free sucks.  But, is it better to do a few days of volunteering, a month or 2 of interning, or a few weeks worth of related volunteer work and then jump right into your chosen career, or is it better to keep working the counter at the Kwikee Mart for an extra 3 years because you weren’t willing to go the extra mile.  No matter who you ask or what you read, there is no form of research more valid that actually doing it.  Again – taking this route will also give you valuable contacts, and often unpaid work turns into full time paid employment very quickly.

Most importantly – before you go out and start sinking the majority of your personal energy into working at a specific job or in a certain industry, take the time to truly ensure that it is really the right thing for you.  This is your future – your happiness, your financial wellbeing and your mental stability that we’re talking about here.  Isn’t it worth just a little upfront work?

The effect of words (in my unscientific opinion), influences the attitudes that we grow up with about the world of work.  And it seems to me that our vocabulary has NOT evolved to favour the employee.

Lets start with that one, shall we?  Employee.  Now say it with me kids…em-ploy-eeeee.

It almost forces you to sneer at the end.  It is a nasty word, with a gross little nasally quality at the end.

Now just change the ending – employer.  Er.  With authority.  Doesn`t that just sound so much more powerful?

Next: `work`.  It`s a word that can almost slap you across the face.

Instead, now about this: `play`.  Isn`t that lovely?  It forces you to smile at the end.

What sounds better?

`Hey kids, lets all go work!`

Or…

`Hey kids, let`s all go play!`

See?  Maybe so much of our dissatisfaction in the workplace actually stems from a subliminal disinclination hardwired into our minds from infancy by icky words.  Or, perhaps we, as a society, gave these things icky sounding names because we actually think they`re icky?

No?  Okay, granted, even I think I`m stretching now.  However, for the next few weeks, instead of saying that I`m going to do some work, I`m going to say that I`m going to go do some…hmm…Zaphod.  Doesn`t that just sound more fun and exciting?  I shall let you know if it makes a difference.