I kinda think that is a win.

Via Failblog

Bigelow Aerospace Opening: Astronaut

Think about it, Astronaut.  Possibly the coolest job in (or more appropriately, out of) the world.  Most likely the number one job aspired to by children around the world, before their ambition, hopes and dreams are crushed by the school system.  (Expect for ballerina…I’ve never understood that one).

So, what’s wrong with this job description.  It’s completely boring.  It’s not compelling (come work with us ~ use all of your advanced Astronaut training to…liaise with the marketing department…?)  And there’s no sell.  No reason to get excited, no indication of how this job will give you the opportunity to expand your skills, get involved in different aspects of the business, or lead to a future career path.

But really, my biggest question is, why is this job posting up at all…are there really a bunch of unemployed astronauts sitting around trolling the Internet for work??  I’m going to strongly assume that is not the case.  And even if I were an unemployed astronaut, I would need to be communicated in a far, far more compelling manner before responding to this type pf recruitment message.

1. Forward

Lets admit it, if you work on a computer, chances are that you spend at least a part of your workday surfing the web.  Yes,  I admit that we all need out daily fix or People of Walmart, Texts From Last Night, or whatever your personal poison may be.  But turn some of your web wandering to work related fare.  This is going to have some other advantages, such as that you’re going to sound smarter and more engaged as you pick up some industry-related factoids along the way, nor will you get an evil eye should your boss happen to catch you.  But the main thing here is that every few days, you should try to send out an interesting, relevant, preferably entertaining article or blog post to your coworkers and managers.  Don’t spam them.  Don’t forward random jokes or personal stuff – just a few enlightening gems here and there  It will be appreciated, and bring you to the top of mind when someone is seeking a subject matter expert.

2. Bake

Or ask your girlfriend/boyfriend/mom or whatever too.  Or stop in the bakery on the way to the office every now and then.  I’m not kidding.  The way to a person’s heart is through their stomach.  Bring people yummy things to eat, and they will start to associate you with happy thought.  For extra brownie points, take someones dietary restrictions into account – look up some gluten free recipes for someone in the office with Celiacs, or figure out how to make something delicious but sugar free for your friendly office diabetic.  That little bit of consideration will go a LONG way to creating positive associations in that persona’s mind, and may also get you some good word of mouth.

3. Thank

By publicly thanking those who helped you out, you are not only helping them, but also by association helping yourself.  Most people in today’s society don;t take the time to thank others properly.  And unfortunately, some people actually see it as a weakness.  Believe me, it is not.  Thanking others will not only make you seem like a good person, it will also make others more likely to come to your rescue next time.  This will have a perpetual effect of making your life easier, as well as making you a more successful employee.

4. Socialize

Take part in as many social gatherings with your coworkers as you can.  Whether it’s drinks with a few people from accounting or a company-wide event, make your presence known.  Of course, if it’s a group of people who are just going out to bitch and moan, perhaps you don’t want to be associated with that.  Bt otherwise, remember that the company ethos is not just what happens in the office, it’s everything that happens surrounding the organization, and you want to weave yourself into that ethos as deeply as you can.

And watch the booze.

5. Participate

I know, I know…

It doesn’t have to be that bad.  If you can, find a committee or group within your office that you find interesting.  Don’t just join something for the sake of joining – join something that you will actually be interested in, and will therefore contribute positively too.  Doesn’t exist?  Well, maybe you should be a little keener and take the initiative to start it up yourself.  A company blog, a social committee, a green office initiative.  The possibilities are endless.  Not only will this make you look like a superstar at your current place of employment, but this is also future resume gold.

You’re not the leader type?  You wouldn’t feel comfortable leading this type of thing?  That’s OK too.  Try find someone within the company who has similar interests who would be interested in leading, and have them bring you along as second in command.  They will likely appreciate the suggestion.

6. Ask

Ask questions.  Not only will you look like less of a screw up if you ask for help, not only will you likely get your work done quicker and produce a better product, but you will also leave a positive impact on the people that you ask.  Remember to ask questions in a constructive manner.  Do some research up front.  Don’t ask ignorant questions – ask people what they feel is the best course of action between two alternatives, or to brush up an idea that’s already mostly there.  Also, it’s always a god idea to ask your coworkers in other departments about their jobs.  Ask what exactly their responsibilities are, what the new developments in their field are, if they’re working on anything interesting or innovative.  This will make you more knowledgeable about your organization as a whole as well as making you memorable to others.

7.  Admit

This is a simple one, but much harder than it sounds.  If you make a mistake, or something goes wrong – ADMIT IT.  I’ve seen countless instances of people trying to cover up mistakes or misdirect the blame.  When you don’t take the bull by the horns, not only are you opening the door for the problem to get ten times worse, you are also passing up an opportunity to make yourself look like a superstar.  When confronted with a problem, develop some possible solutions, and then take them to someone – your manager or a coworker.  By admitting the mistake, you show yourself as a team player, as a responsible employee, and by having some potential solutions on hand you show that you have problem solving skills.  And, as most people will not come straight out and admit it if something has gone wrong, you will also stand out as a brave, morally superior person  (hint: that’s what people look for in management!)

8. Mentor

Take some of those younguns under your wing.  Again, aside from generally looking like a rockstar, there are a few fringe benefits here.  First, by explaining things to the newbie, you will actually reinforce your own understanding and possibly develop some new ideas.  I always fond whenever I explain something that I end up going on some tangent and coming up with some new ideas.  Second, you are likely to end up with your own little stock of minions.  The people that you helped will be far more likely to help you out down the road.  And third, you are displaying some serious positive leadership abilities – this is both excellent promotion and future resume fodder.

9. Personalize

Bring a little of yourself into the office.  Be unique.  Bring some touches of your personal style to your desk, or the way you dress.  Don’t blend.  Maintain the required degree of professionalism, but let your own personal style shine through.

10. Karma

Kismet.  Chi  Whatever you may call it.  Whether or not you actually believe in it.  Invite some good karma into your workspace.  Every day – do one random good deed for someone in your office.  Make a habit of it.  Spread it around – don’t just focus on the higher ups.  Don’t tell anyone why you’re doing it.  Don’t ask for or expect thanks.  Just do it.  And one way or another, it will start coming back to you.

Do you have a phrase that just sets your teeth on edge?  I do – I absolutely HATE ‘moving forward’.  An old boss of mine would say it all the time.  Now, when recruiters are reading your resumes and cover letters, do you think perhaps they have some phrases that they hate too?  Maybe the ones that are vague, don’t impart any real information, are incredibly overused, or are just lame?  The answer is yes, they do.

These poor people are bombarded with piles of resumes and cover letters everyday that just parrot back the same overused phrases again and again.  Do you think that’s going to make you stand out?  Think again.

Are you a team player?  Really?  Because I was hoping to hire a crotchety little bastard who would constantly try to undermine and sabotage their coworkers.

Do you have excellent communication skills?  OK.  Fine.  You are communicating with me right now – so don’t say it, prove it!   (My favorite is that usually, this statement tends to be in a sentence that is grammatically incorrect.  I don’t know why – Murphy’s law? Must collect stats on this.

“I am currently seeking employment in the <insert desired industry here> field.”  Really? Is that why you just sent me an application for a job in that industry?  I NEVER would have guessed.  Thank you, captain obvious.

Be sure to go through all of your application documents, (or better yet, have some one else, with an objective eye) and look for these traps.  They are incredibly easy to fall in to.

Remember, you have 5 to 20 seconds to grab a recruiters attention – make sure that every single line, word and syllable is achieving something.

I think the responsible, career professional thing to say here would be to suck it up from day one, maintain your regular routine and schedule activities for yourself.

Screw that.  As far as I’m concerned, you get at least a week to lie on the couch, wake up at noon and spend the day eating chips on the couch watching terrible daytime television.  Call it a mini creative sabbatical.

So – that’s out of the way.  It’s been a week or two, there are no job offers in the works yet, and you’re getting a little restless.  What to do now?

Let’s ask Lucy:

There’s a great Lucille Ball quote:

The effect of words (in my unscientific opinion), influences the attitudes that we grow up with about the world of work.  And it seems to me that our vocabulary has NOT evolved to favour the employee.

Lets start with that one, shall we?  Employee.  Now say it with me kids…em-ploy-eeeee.

It almost forces you to sneer at the end.  It is a nasty word, with a gross little nasally quality at the end.

Now just change the ending – employer.  Er.  With authority.  Doesn`t that just sound so much more powerful?

Next: `work`.  It`s a word that can almost slap you across the face.

Instead, now about this: `play`.  Isn`t that lovely?  It forces you to smile at the end.

What sounds better?

`Hey kids, lets all go work!`

Or…

`Hey kids, let`s all go play!`

See?  Maybe so much of our dissatisfaction in the workplace actually stems from a subliminal disinclination hardwired into our minds from infancy by icky words.  Or, perhaps we, as a society, gave these things icky sounding names because we actually think they`re icky?

No?  Okay, granted, even I think I`m stretching now.  However, for the next few weeks, instead of saying that I`m going to do some work, I`m going to say that I`m going to go do some…hmm…Zaphod.  Doesn`t that just sound more fun and exciting?  I shall let you know if it makes a difference.

I mean, what is it that makes you feel that you are doing a good job.  And, is that view congruent with your employers perspective?

For example:  let’s say that you do customer service in a call centre.  You spend an hour on the phone with a customer who is incredibly frustrated.  You spend the time to truly look into their problem.  You treat them not just like a number, but like a person.  You calm them down, resolve their issue, and earn their lifelong loyalty to the organization that you represent through your exemplary customer service.  Not only have you done the company a solid, but you feel happy and fulfilled because you feel that you have made a real difference to someone.

Then…your supervisor comes up and bitches you out for 20 minutes because you have a quota to meet, damn it.

In your mind, your role is to provide the best service you can.  In their mind, your role is to service a certain number of customers per day, hour, nanosecond, whatever, and that’s the end of it.

Your motivation may not match the motivation of your employer.  The above is a fairly black and white situation.  You have a quota to meet.  That can be clearly, quantifiably communicated to you.  But you may be faced with situations that are far more nebulous.  It is a terrible, demoralizing feeling to act in a fashion that you believed was right, or worse, believed was above and beyond, and then catch shit for it.

Different organizations have different business models, missions, ideals.  Some value exceptional service, some speed.  Some value detail-orientedness, some moreso volume of output.  Some want you to be active in company culture, some don’t care.

The trickiest thing can be that some organizations don’t know what their own motivators are.  Worse yet, some may lie to themselves.  People often have trouble being honest about traits that they aren’t proud of – the same goes for businesses.  Know thyself, corporation.  You may not want to say that al you care about is getting that one time sale, and getting it quickly.  But if that’s truly what you want, you need to identify that, and clearly communicate that to your employees.  Otherwise, there will be an omnipresent dissidence.  This leads to pissed off employees, and that is good for no one.

If you have recognized a disconnect – a fundamental difference in what drives you and the drivers that are respected traits in your current workplace, what should you do?

Option 1: Suck it up.  Let your personal values be buried, seethe with resentment and watch your soul wither and die every heart wrenching day.

I just said it was an option.  I didn’t say it was a good option.

Option 2: Write a business case supporting your way of doing things.

Don’t be fooled – just because things are a certain way doesn’t mean that they are written in stone.  Maybe things were done a certain way in a businesses infancy because that was the only way to get through start up and it just became a habit, maybe some overpriced consultant came in with some half witted overly simplistic marketing math that didn’t take customer retention into their equation, or maybe its just that it hasn’t occur ed to someone in charge that things should change.  Think – if you are successful, you have probably guaranteed yourself a management position down the road.  At the very least, if your ideas are implemented, then you will have an amazing anecdote to share in every job interview for the rest of your life.

Option 3: Quit.  Quit doesn’t have to be a dirty word.

If you are in a place where your motivation isn’t being nurtured, you are doing yourself a serious disservice.  You will not be working to your potential, and you will be causing long-term professional and personal harm.

Think of the sell you can present to an organization that does share your motivations.  Take the fact that you recognized a negative, and make it into a positive.

Space is such an important part of any job.  Yet, it seems that it is never something that is taken into account in the interview process.  Some people thrive on open concept office designs.  Others need the quiet and privacy afforded by an office space with a door.  It seems to me that office design is more and more an area where employers are scrimping to save by cramming as many people as possible into office space.  Yet, is this really resulting in a savings in the long run?  I know that I do not function well in an open environment.  Especially for workers in information who need to write, I believe that sharing space can have a significantly negative impact on productivity.  We have all heard cracks about the infamous cubicle – the cramped space, the lack of functional storage, the noise, and the general indignity.  Is it perhaps time to take a step back from current office design trends, and analyse the cost savings measures versus the impact of productivity and morale?

Most importantly, in your own search, before accepting an offer, be sure to ask about the working conditions.  You may not have any control over these factors in the long run, but it is certainly worth knowing upfront.  If you do find yourself in a space that is not conducive to your optimal performance, take it up with your superiors.  Maybe using headphones to drown out noise, moving to a different space to perform certain tasks, or getting new or different furniture would help.

Remember, it is in the best interest of your boss that you are being as effective as possible in your daily duties.  Do not feel shy about asking for improvements – it is an much to their long-term benefit as it is to yours.

Haha, funny.  Yes.  And true

However, as with all inane and seemingly useless things that I refer too, I do have a point as well.

I am not a morning person.  Not even close.  I`ve tried all of the get to sleep techniques, had sleep studies done, even tried sleeping pills, and they simply don`t allow me to get to sleep at anything resembling a normal time.  I say this, of course, after I have just crawled out of bed at the crack of noon.  But that`s OK, I`m allowed, because I was working until 3am last night.  I`m simply more productive in the evening.

Is this a habit I could change if I had to?  Yes, of course.  Do I have to?  No, because I`ve arranged my life and my work so that they happen on a schedule that`s more in line with my personal preferred times and rhythem.

I`m not saying that this is an excuse to tell your boss that you`re going to start showing up for work at noon, or that you`ve decided that you are going to start at 6am now so that you can go home at 3 in the afternoon.  (However, if you do want that, ask.  Sometimes workplaces are more flexible than you expect.)  I`m simply saying that this is a factor that should be taken into your long-term career planning.  It`s OK to say to yourself that one of the factors in your ideal work scenario is a later start time, be it due to sleep problems, personal preferences, so that you can walk your kids to school in the morning, etc.

A great deal of your work life is spent molding yourself, your habits and your thought processes into the form that is expected by your employer. Take a moment once in a while to assess how you can mold your work life into a pattern that better fits YOU.