Best. Job Ad. Ever.
I kinda think that is a win.
Via Failblog
Help Wanted – Astronaut
Via Boing Boing, this is not only amusing, but also an amazing example of how not to write a job ad.
Bigelow Aerospace Opening: Astronaut
Think about it, Astronaut. Possibly the coolest job in (or more appropriately, out of) the world. Most likely the number one job aspired to by children around the world, before their ambition, hopes and dreams are crushed by the school system. (Expect for ballerina…I’ve never understood that one).
So, what’s wrong with this job description. It’s completely boring. It’s not compelling (come work with us ~ use all of your advanced Astronaut training to…liaise with the marketing department…?) And there’s no sell. No reason to get excited, no indication of how this job will give you the opportunity to expand your skills, get involved in different aspects of the business, or lead to a future career path.
But really, my biggest question is, why is this job posting up at all…are there really a bunch of unemployed astronauts sitting around trolling the Internet for work?? I’m going to strongly assume that is not the case. And even if I were an unemployed astronaut, I would need to be communicated in a far, far more compelling manner before responding to this type pf recruitment message.
10 Tricks to Stand out at your office
Even in a small office, there are usually 2 groups – the ones who shine, and the ones who you sometimes forget even work there. The people who stand out are usually the ones who get promoted, who get the perks, or who get the best assignments. These are a few small ways to bring yourself front and centre in the minds of your colleagues and managers.
1. Forward
Lets admit it, if you work on a computer, chances are that you spend at least a part of your workday surfing the web. Yes, I admit that we all need out daily fix or People of Walmart, Texts From Last Night, or whatever your personal poison may be. But turn some of your web wandering to work related fare. This is going to have some other advantages, such as that you’re going to sound smarter and more engaged as you pick up some industry-related factoids along the way, nor will you get an evil eye should your boss happen to catch you. But the main thing here is that every few days, you should try to send out an interesting, relevant, preferably entertaining article or blog post to your coworkers and managers. Don’t spam them. Don’t forward random jokes or personal stuff – just a few enlightening gems here and there It will be appreciated, and bring you to the top of mind when someone is seeking a subject matter expert.
2. Bake
Or ask your girlfriend/boyfriend/mom or whatever too. Or stop in the bakery on the way to the office every now and then. I’m not kidding. The way to a person’s heart is through their stomach. Bring people yummy things to eat, and they will start to associate you with happy thought. For extra brownie points, take someones dietary restrictions into account – look up some gluten free recipes for someone in the office with Celiacs, or figure out how to make something delicious but sugar free for your friendly office diabetic. That little bit of consideration will go a LONG way to creating positive associations in that persona’s mind, and may also get you some good word of mouth.
3. Thank
By publicly thanking those who helped you out, you are not only helping them, but also by association helping yourself. Most people in today’s society don;t take the time to thank others properly. And unfortunately, some people actually see it as a weakness. Believe me, it is not. Thanking others will not only make you seem like a good person, it will also make others more likely to come to your rescue next time. This will have a perpetual effect of making your life easier, as well as making you a more successful employee.
4. Socialize
Take part in as many social gatherings with your coworkers as you can. Whether it’s drinks with a few people from accounting or a company-wide event, make your presence known. Of course, if it’s a group of people who are just going out to bitch and moan, perhaps you don’t want to be associated with that. Bt otherwise, remember that the company ethos is not just what happens in the office, it’s everything that happens surrounding the organization, and you want to weave yourself into that ethos as deeply as you can.
And watch the booze.
5. Participate
I know, I know…
It doesn’t have to be that bad. If you can, find a committee or group within your office that you find interesting. Don’t just join something for the sake of joining – join something that you will actually be interested in, and will therefore contribute positively too. Doesn’t exist? Well, maybe you should be a little keener and take the initiative to start it up yourself. A company blog, a social committee, a green office initiative. The possibilities are endless. Not only will this make you look like a superstar at your current place of employment, but this is also future resume gold.
You’re not the leader type? You wouldn’t feel comfortable leading this type of thing? That’s OK too. Try find someone within the company who has similar interests who would be interested in leading, and have them bring you along as second in command. They will likely appreciate the suggestion.
6. Ask
Ask questions. Not only will you look like less of a screw up if you ask for help, not only will you likely get your work done quicker and produce a better product, but you will also leave a positive impact on the people that you ask. Remember to ask questions in a constructive manner. Do some research up front. Don’t ask ignorant questions – ask people what they feel is the best course of action between two alternatives, or to brush up an idea that’s already mostly there. Also, it’s always a god idea to ask your coworkers in other departments about their jobs. Ask what exactly their responsibilities are, what the new developments in their field are, if they’re working on anything interesting or innovative. This will make you more knowledgeable about your organization as a whole as well as making you memorable to others.
7. Admit
This is a simple one, but much harder than it sounds. If you make a mistake, or something goes wrong – ADMIT IT. I’ve seen countless instances of people trying to cover up mistakes or misdirect the blame. When you don’t take the bull by the horns, not only are you opening the door for the problem to get ten times worse, you are also passing up an opportunity to make yourself look like a superstar. When confronted with a problem, develop some possible solutions, and then take them to someone – your manager or a coworker. By admitting the mistake, you show yourself as a team player, as a responsible employee, and by having some potential solutions on hand you show that you have problem solving skills. And, as most people will not come straight out and admit it if something has gone wrong, you will also stand out as a brave, morally superior person (hint: that’s what people look for in management!)
8. Mentor
Take some of those younguns under your wing. Again, aside from generally looking like a rockstar, there are a few fringe benefits here. First, by explaining things to the newbie, you will actually reinforce your own understanding and possibly develop some new ideas. I always fond whenever I explain something that I end up going on some tangent and coming up with some new ideas. Second, you are likely to end up with your own little stock of minions. The people that you helped will be far more likely to help you out down the road. And third, you are displaying some serious positive leadership abilities – this is both excellent promotion and future resume fodder.
9. Personalize
Bring a little of yourself into the office. Be unique. Bring some touches of your personal style to your desk, or the way you dress. Don’t blend. Maintain the required degree of professionalism, but let your own personal style shine through.
10. Karma
Kismet. Chi Whatever you may call it. Whether or not you actually believe in it. Invite some good karma into your workspace. Every day – do one random good deed for someone in your office. Make a habit of it. Spread it around – don’t just focus on the higher ups. Don’t tell anyone why you’re doing it. Don’t ask for or expect thanks. Just do it. And one way or another, it will start coming back to you.
Are you a dilligent, hard worker?
I should hope so. And even if you’re not, I know damn well that you’re going to tell your potential new employer that you are. And guess what, so did the other 200 people who just applied for that job.
Do you have a phrase that just sets your teeth on edge? I do – I absolutely HATE ‘moving forward’. An old boss of mine would say it all the time. Now, when recruiters are reading your resumes and cover letters, do you think perhaps they have some phrases that they hate too? Maybe the ones that are vague, don’t impart any real information, are incredibly overused, or are just lame? The answer is yes, they do.
These poor people are bombarded with piles of resumes and cover letters everyday that just parrot back the same overused phrases again and again. Do you think that’s going to make you stand out? Think again.
Are you a team player? Really? Because I was hoping to hire a crotchety little bastard who would constantly try to undermine and sabotage their coworkers.
Do you have excellent communication skills? OK. Fine. You are communicating with me right now – so don’t say it, prove it! (My favorite is that usually, this statement tends to be in a sentence that is grammatically incorrect. I don’t know why – Murphy’s law? Must collect stats on this.
“I am currently seeking employment in the <insert desired industry here> field.” Really? Is that why you just sent me an application for a job in that industry? I NEVER would have guessed. Thank you, captain obvious.
Be sure to go through all of your application documents, (or better yet, have some one else, with an objective eye) and look for these traps. They are incredibly easy to fall in to.
Remember, you have 5 to 20 seconds to grab a recruiters attention – make sure that every single line, word and syllable is achieving something.
Karōshi – no, it’s not the latest trendy food fad
I’m listening to the radio right now, and the DJ just took a request from a guy who is working his 30th straight 14-hour night shift. When do you sleep? How do you get your vitamin D? Can that possibly be worth it? (Should you be on True Blood…) Poor guy – who ever you are, come and see me! I can save you. (But I still don’t appreciate you making me listen to Low by Cracker…seriously buddy, get some taste in music)
That poor, obviously overworked soul made me think of one of my very favorite Japanese words: Karōshi.
So, what is is Karōshi? Literally translated from the Japanese, Karōshi means ‘death from overwork’.
Isn’t that a great word? (yes, it’s a terrible phenomenon, but isn’t that a great word?)
I won’t reiterate the very fascinating Wikipedia article for you (although it is pretty fascinating and I would highly recommend you reading it), but the first case of Karōshi in Japan was reported in 1969 when a 29 year old died from a stroke on the job. Twenty-nine years old!!!
There is an incredibly strong work ethic inherent in Japanese culture. Once people literally started dropping dead from years upon years of constant unpaid overtime, some companies began limiting the amount of overtime allowed and implementing other measures to help improve the health of employees.
So what do you think the English word is going to be? Because might be needing one soon, and ‘death from overwork’, while accurate, is not that catchy.
Don’t believe me? According to a study by Take Back Your Time, an American not-for-profit agency dedicated to advocating for healthier workplace practices:
- Americans are taking fewer (and shorter) vacations.
- Last year, only 14% of American workers took two weeks or more for vacation.
- Men who don’t take regular vacations are 32% more likely to die of heart attacks, and 21% more likely to die early of all causes. Women have 50% more risk of heart attack.
(Please note, I directly stole borrowed the above points verbatim from the fabulous Cali & Jodi, whom I shall discuss in further detail at a later date.)
(Man, am I ever bracket-happy tonight! Sorry.)
I don’t know if the Canadian stats are equivalent, but I would imagine that we are not as bad off, because we do have mandated minimum vacation. However – there seems to be quite the trend in banking out vacation, receiving vacation pay in lieu, or people just flat out working through their vacation.
At the very least, most of us who are Crackberried will check in…just here and there, right…maybe answer an email here and there…or just make that one little call?
People, what’s wrong with you??
Giving our brains a little time to completely escape the stresses of work and completely rest, even if only for a few weeks a year, is VITAL to our psychological as well as physical health.
We all (meaning employers and employees) need to understand that not taking adequate vacation time is actually significantly decreasing productivity. We all want to appear dedicated to our jobs. We all want to make sure that nothing goes wrong while we’re out of the office. We all get suck doing a little bit of overtime sometimes. BUT, if it could literally mean loosing years of your life, is it really worth it?
Of the many, many things wrong with the current workplace system – this is one of the most endemic, and is going to be one of the hardest to change. But it really, really should.